Mate, mate mate

Read from the beginning!

So there I was, dying of thirst and lost in the desert. Luckily, since I had some kangaroo jerky with me from my previous encounter with my living hallucination, I was well stocked on food. Water, unfortunately, was another story. I trudged along the wasteland, dragging my feet as I wandered aimlessly. I passed a large smooth stone that looked somewhat familiar. Then I realized why.

"Circles? I've been walking in circles?" I looked up at the sun as I tried to figure out my location. I soon gave up, as I realized that only wilderness explorers know how to do that, and I had no idea what I was doing. I collapsed to my knees, and crawled over to the stone, leaning back on it. Stones are just awesome. You can lean back on them for support, but they can also stab you in the back. Or more accurately, they can heat up to a temperature of Hell degrees and burn your back like a cupcake in a pizza oven. Before I could even scream in pain, I was already on my feet. I angrily kicked the stone, rubbing my back. But then that also hurt, so I comically rubbed my back as I rubbed my foot. In this position, I saw two men approach.

I couldn't believe my eyes. In this dead land called the outback, I had actually found a couple of guys. I brushed up on my Australian and smiled as they approached.

"A dingo ate my bay-bay," I said with a smile, as it was the traditional greeting in Australian.
"Throw some shrimp on the bah-bee," one of the men replied with a smile.
"Where are you blokes headed?" I said, mustering as good an accent as I could. Australians can detect a foreigner, and when they do, they usually attack.
"Me and my mate here are headed to Gallipoli, mate," said my new mate.
"But mate, isn't that in Turkey, mate?" I asked.
"It sure is, mate. But that ain't stoppin' us, mate!" He let out a hearty laugh, and his mate joined.
"Haha, mate," I joined.
"Mate."
"Mate mate mate."

This went on for a few hours.

Then he pointed me in the direction of Sydney, which actually happened to be a few feet away. I was actually lost in a small wilderness park! In fact, he said even a small child could find his way out. Awesome.

So I went back to Sydney, and went home. I was gone for so long, that when I came back, the country was a post-apocalyptic ruin. So now I'm typing this from an abandoned home with bootlegged internet service. God Bless America.

THE END.