so there i was, right? (a story through the perspective of inanimate objects)

so there i was, being a backpack, right? there we were, walking to upper sproul me full of books and a binder, trying to make sure i didn't drop anything, when my owner suddenly lifts his left arm then lets it down. what's up with that?


so there i was, being shoes, right? there we were, the weight of the world inside of me, trying to avoid the gum and nasty stuff on the floor when all of a sudden the big guy upstairs slows down for a few paces, then suddenly speeds up. i was all like what the fuhhh?




so there i was, being a cellphone right? i was just sitting there, making sure i yelled if any calls came through, but none did, so it was pretty boring.




so there i was, being a two-week old wristband on his right arm, right? he had me at his side when we went down upper sproul. the he stabs me in the back and uses his left arm to reach for something! i couldn't see what it was, but i was all like aw helllll no!



so there i was, being earbuds, right? just pumping music into this poor guy's ears, because that's my job. there we were, walking down upper sproul, when this guy ahead of him holds out a paper in his direction. he reaches out to grab it, but the guy completely ignores him and moves the paper in another direction in mid-grab. how embarassing is that?