“Hey, remember that one time we got lost trying to get to Central Park, and we somehow found ourselves in Coney Island? That was a good accident.”
“No. When did that happen?”
“Oh, right. That was Andy.”
They walked through the woods in silence. Crimson light was leaking through the trees, making it look like autumn in the middle of summer. The wind softly carried the chirps of the crickets as they sang. He got closer, reaching out to put his arm around her. She ducked as a branch got in her way.
“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” she said.
“Positive. I think,” he said. “That’s really reassuring.”
“Don’t worry so much. Remember that one time you thought we weren’t going to catch that Yankee’s game, and you were so anxious you made me weave in and out of traffic, getting us a speeding ticket, only to find out we were actually an hour early?”
“Again, no.” “What? How could you forget? We were on the kiss cam!”
“I hate baseball.”
“Oh, right. That was . . . Andy.”
“You kissed Andy?”
“Of course not!”
He coughed, letting the sound fill the air. He put his hands in his pockets and tried to whistle a song he heard the other day, but he couldn’t quite match the tune. He looked up. The sky above them was beginning to turn a deep orange. A stillness rose, the kind that feels like something is about to be said, something important, but nothing is. As they followed the beaten path, the wind grew stronger, causing the trees to crackle and shake. The girl shivered.
“Are you cold?” he said.
“Yes. But I’ll live,” she said.
“Sorry I didn’t bring a jacket. I didn’t think we’d be here for too long.”
“It’s ok.”
“Hey, remember–”
“Is this another memory you had with Andy?”
“What? No, no. What makes you say that?”
She stopped and closed her eyes, massaging her temple. “Look. I understand you like me. I like you too. But my liking you doesn’t mean I’ll fall for any lie you throw my way. Contrary to popular belief, love isn’t blind,” she turned her back to him. “But it isn’t stupid, either.” She walked a few steps forward, then looked back. “I think I see the way back. Don’t call me.” She stumbled down the path. Then she stopped, as if she forgot something, and turned. “I . . . no. Goodbye.”
He watched her walk away, unable to speak. He couldn’t see her anymore. His eyes glazed over, lost in thought. He remembered the goose bumps he felt on her arms as they sat on that hill, looking at the stars. Her smile, as he tried to point out the constellations that lined the sky. Even though he didn’t know a single one, she still pretended to look surprised, and they both laughed when he realized she knew where each one was exactly. She pointed out the Swan, and asked isn’t it beautiful? And he said yes, even though he couldn’t see it, but he could see her. He felt her shiver against him, so he gave her his jacket. He remembered the smile on her face as they kissed.
A frog croaked in the distance, bringing him back. He shivered. It was cold.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
A Dramatic Retelling of A Sitcom Tragedy
The sun hung lazily in the air as William walked out of school. He let out a sigh of content; it was finally the weekend. As he stepped past the gate, watching the rest of the students pile into their parents’ cars, or get on the bus back to their homes, William knew his mother would not be there to pick him up. It was Friday, and that meant a double shift at the post office. Nor could he take the bus, since he used up the last of his bus money to eat lunch that day. It seemed worth it, at the time. But that didn’t bother him, since it wasn’t home that he was planning to go to. For as long as he could remember, William always visited the same park just a few blocks away from the school. It was relatively close to home, and being born and raised in West Philadelphia, it was the only place he could go that was safe enough to keep his mother from worrying, and the only place he could go to blow off some steam playing the sport he loved: basketball.
The sounds of children’s laughter echoed through the trees, mingling with the distant and nearby honking of horns. As William walked past the children playing in the playground, he could hear the creaking of the swings and whispers as the little boys and girls played house, or doctor. Upon reaching the court, William saw his friends. He grinned and began to wave at them, but then he realized something was wrong. Surrounding his friends were a group of men, towering over them. Then it dawned on him. These guys were the ones recently terrorizing the locals, and from what he could see, they were definitely up to no good. William was scared. He couldn’t hope to fend off all of them, and his feet refused to move. The men laughed, keeping the ball away from the boys’ grasp. Suddenly, one of the men punched one of William’s friends in the back of the head as hard as he could. He collapsed and fell face down on the pavement amidst harsh laughter. William was stunned, then furious. Clenching his fists, he went up to them.
It wasn’t fair that people like this could do such horrible things to those who weren’t looking for trouble. All he wanted to do was play some basketball with his friends, and smile as the local children gathered to watch. But now that couldn’t happen, because of a group of thugs. He decided to change that, beginning with the basketball. Running up to the one holding the ball, a man with a dark brown shirt, William rammed into his back with all his strength. He heard a groan as he fell to the ground. He quickly got to his feet, looking for the ball. It had rolled from his grasp, and a large foot stomped down on it, stopping it in its tracks. A mean-looking man in a red shirt glared at him.
“Something wrong?” He asked with a sneer.
“Give it back,” William said, weakly.
“What?”
“Give it back!”
And with that, he lunged with all his might towards the looming figure before him. It was the last thing he remembered. Later that night, as he knocked on the door of his apartment, he smiled. Even though he was sore, even though his clothes were torn up, even though his wallet was missing, even though he sported a black eye that would make a panda bear jealous, and even though he wasn’t able to get the ball back, William was happy. Despite his fear, William stood his ground and fought for what he so strongly believed in, and he lived to tell the tale. Unfortunately, his mother didn’t share his thoughts. Horrified at the sight of his face, and fearing for his safety, she immediately sent him to live with his auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
The sounds of children’s laughter echoed through the trees, mingling with the distant and nearby honking of horns. As William walked past the children playing in the playground, he could hear the creaking of the swings and whispers as the little boys and girls played house, or doctor. Upon reaching the court, William saw his friends. He grinned and began to wave at them, but then he realized something was wrong. Surrounding his friends were a group of men, towering over them. Then it dawned on him. These guys were the ones recently terrorizing the locals, and from what he could see, they were definitely up to no good. William was scared. He couldn’t hope to fend off all of them, and his feet refused to move. The men laughed, keeping the ball away from the boys’ grasp. Suddenly, one of the men punched one of William’s friends in the back of the head as hard as he could. He collapsed and fell face down on the pavement amidst harsh laughter. William was stunned, then furious. Clenching his fists, he went up to them.
It wasn’t fair that people like this could do such horrible things to those who weren’t looking for trouble. All he wanted to do was play some basketball with his friends, and smile as the local children gathered to watch. But now that couldn’t happen, because of a group of thugs. He decided to change that, beginning with the basketball. Running up to the one holding the ball, a man with a dark brown shirt, William rammed into his back with all his strength. He heard a groan as he fell to the ground. He quickly got to his feet, looking for the ball. It had rolled from his grasp, and a large foot stomped down on it, stopping it in its tracks. A mean-looking man in a red shirt glared at him.
“Something wrong?” He asked with a sneer.
“Give it back,” William said, weakly.
“What?”
“Give it back!”
And with that, he lunged with all his might towards the looming figure before him. It was the last thing he remembered. Later that night, as he knocked on the door of his apartment, he smiled. Even though he was sore, even though his clothes were torn up, even though his wallet was missing, even though he sported a black eye that would make a panda bear jealous, and even though he wasn’t able to get the ball back, William was happy. Despite his fear, William stood his ground and fought for what he so strongly believed in, and he lived to tell the tale. Unfortunately, his mother didn’t share his thoughts. Horrified at the sight of his face, and fearing for his safety, she immediately sent him to live with his auntie and uncle in Bel Air.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Mate, mate mate
Read from the beginning!
So there I was, dying of thirst and lost in the desert. Luckily, since I had some kangaroo jerky with me from my previous encounter with my living hallucination, I was well stocked on food. Water, unfortunately, was another story. I trudged along the wasteland, dragging my feet as I wandered aimlessly. I passed a large smooth stone that looked somewhat familiar. Then I realized why.
"Circles? I've been walking in circles?" I looked up at the sun as I tried to figure out my location. I soon gave up, as I realized that only wilderness explorers know how to do that, and I had no idea what I was doing. I collapsed to my knees, and crawled over to the stone, leaning back on it. Stones are just awesome. You can lean back on them for support, but they can also stab you in the back. Or more accurately, they can heat up to a temperature of Hell degrees and burn your back like a cupcake in a pizza oven. Before I could even scream in pain, I was already on my feet. I angrily kicked the stone, rubbing my back. But then that also hurt, so I comically rubbed my back as I rubbed my foot. In this position, I saw two men approach.
I couldn't believe my eyes. In this dead land called the outback, I had actually found a couple of guys. I brushed up on my Australian and smiled as they approached.
"A dingo ate my bay-bay," I said with a smile, as it was the traditional greeting in Australian.
"Throw some shrimp on the bah-bee," one of the men replied with a smile.
"Where are you blokes headed?" I said, mustering as good an accent as I could. Australians can detect a foreigner, and when they do, they usually attack.
"Me and my mate here are headed to Gallipoli, mate," said my new mate.
"But mate, isn't that in Turkey, mate?" I asked.
"It sure is, mate. But that ain't stoppin' us, mate!" He let out a hearty laugh, and his mate joined.
"Haha, mate," I joined.
"Mate."
"Mate mate mate."
This went on for a few hours.
Then he pointed me in the direction of Sydney, which actually happened to be a few feet away. I was actually lost in a small wilderness park! In fact, he said even a small child could find his way out. Awesome.
So I went back to Sydney, and went home. I was gone for so long, that when I came back, the country was a post-apocalyptic ruin. So now I'm typing this from an abandoned home with bootlegged internet service. God Bless America.
THE END.
So there I was, dying of thirst and lost in the desert. Luckily, since I had some kangaroo jerky with me from my previous encounter with my living hallucination, I was well stocked on food. Water, unfortunately, was another story. I trudged along the wasteland, dragging my feet as I wandered aimlessly. I passed a large smooth stone that looked somewhat familiar. Then I realized why.
"Circles? I've been walking in circles?" I looked up at the sun as I tried to figure out my location. I soon gave up, as I realized that only wilderness explorers know how to do that, and I had no idea what I was doing. I collapsed to my knees, and crawled over to the stone, leaning back on it. Stones are just awesome. You can lean back on them for support, but they can also stab you in the back. Or more accurately, they can heat up to a temperature of Hell degrees and burn your back like a cupcake in a pizza oven. Before I could even scream in pain, I was already on my feet. I angrily kicked the stone, rubbing my back. But then that also hurt, so I comically rubbed my back as I rubbed my foot. In this position, I saw two men approach.
I couldn't believe my eyes. In this dead land called the outback, I had actually found a couple of guys. I brushed up on my Australian and smiled as they approached.
"A dingo ate my bay-bay," I said with a smile, as it was the traditional greeting in Australian.
"Throw some shrimp on the bah-bee," one of the men replied with a smile.
"Where are you blokes headed?" I said, mustering as good an accent as I could. Australians can detect a foreigner, and when they do, they usually attack.
"Me and my mate here are headed to Gallipoli, mate," said my new mate.
"But mate, isn't that in Turkey, mate?" I asked.
"It sure is, mate. But that ain't stoppin' us, mate!" He let out a hearty laugh, and his mate joined.
"Haha, mate," I joined.
"Mate."
"Mate mate mate."
This went on for a few hours.
Then he pointed me in the direction of Sydney, which actually happened to be a few feet away. I was actually lost in a small wilderness park! In fact, he said even a small child could find his way out. Awesome.
So I went back to Sydney, and went home. I was gone for so long, that when I came back, the country was a post-apocalyptic ruin. So now I'm typing this from an abandoned home with bootlegged internet service. God Bless America.
THE END.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
this is a story all about how
I have to put my true Australia tale on hold for a second, because I have a mind-blowing tale to tell. This just happened the other night. I was out with a few friends, just talking and hanging out, when I realized it was getting pretty late. So I told my friends I had to leave, and I proceeded to go to my car. As I said, it was late, and it didn't help that half the lights in my friend's neighborhood were out, so I fumbled for my keys and tried to open my door. I was starting to freak out, since it was pitch black and I could swear I saw someone coming. After what seemed like an eternity, I found my keys and quickly started my engine. I shifted into gear and pushed the gas. Unfortunately, I shifted into the wrong gear and ended up smashing my rear bumper into a nearby light pole. I freaked out, and quickly ran out to inspect the damage. The pole was fine. But my bumper was another story. It was messed up, and there was no way it was going to just buff off. I didn't know what else to do, so I decided to just go home.
When I got near, I had two choices. I could either keep my car parked in the garage, and stash it until I had some explaining to do, or park it in the driveway, which was the quieter choice. I decided to go with choice A, which was risky, but if it worked, it would at least give me time to think up a story. As the garage door creaked open, I saw the lights in the house blink on. My dad had woken up! I now had to decide whether to continue driving into the garage and hope he comes out the front door, missing my car, or to stay outside and hope he enters the garage and miss the damage to the bumper. I couldn't think, so when he opened the door to garage, my foot acted on its own and pressed down on the gas. I ended up driving into the back of the garage, crashing through some bikes and bringing down a few shelves onto the roof of the car. I was in shock, and I looked at my dad, expecting the beating of a lifetime. The funny thing is, he didn't get mad.
Instead, he did the mash.
(he did the mash) He did the monster mash,
(the monster mash) It was a graveyard smash,
(he did the mash) It caught on in a flash,
(he did the mash) He did the monster mash,
When I got near, I had two choices. I could either keep my car parked in the garage, and stash it until I had some explaining to do, or park it in the driveway, which was the quieter choice. I decided to go with choice A, which was risky, but if it worked, it would at least give me time to think up a story. As the garage door creaked open, I saw the lights in the house blink on. My dad had woken up! I now had to decide whether to continue driving into the garage and hope he comes out the front door, missing my car, or to stay outside and hope he enters the garage and miss the damage to the bumper. I couldn't think, so when he opened the door to garage, my foot acted on its own and pressed down on the gas. I ended up driving into the back of the garage, crashing through some bikes and bringing down a few shelves onto the roof of the car. I was in shock, and I looked at my dad, expecting the beating of a lifetime. The funny thing is, he didn't get mad.
Instead, he did the mash.
(he did the mash) He did the monster mash,
(the monster mash) It was a graveyard smash,
(he did the mash) It caught on in a flash,
(he did the mash) He did the monster mash,
(wa-oo) From my labratory in the castle East,
(wa-oo) To the master bedroom where the vampires feast,
(wa, wa-oo) To ghouls all came from their humble abodes,
(wa-oo) To get a jolt, from my electrobes.
(they did the mash) They did the monster mash,
(the monster mash) It was a graveyard smash,
(they did the mash) It caught on in a flash,
(they did the mash) They did the monster mash,
(wa-ooo) The zombies were having fun,
(anashoop wa-oo) The party had just begun,
(anashoop wa-oo) The guests included wolfman,
(anashoop wa-oo) Dracula and his son
(wa-ooo) The scene was rocking, oh we're digging the sounds,
(wa-oo) Eagor on chains backed by asbaying hounds,
(wa-oo) The coffin bangers were about to arrive,
(wa-oo) With their vocal group, the crypt kicker five
(they played the mash) They played the monster mash,
(the monster mash) It was a graveyard smash,
(they played the mash) It caught on in a flash,
(they played the mash) They played the monster mash
(wa-oo) Out from his coffin Drac's voice did ring,
(wa-oo) seems he was troubled by just one thing,
(wa, wa-oo) Open the lid, and shook his fist and said
(wa-oo) 'Whatever happened to my Transylvanian Twist?'
(its now the mash) Its now the monster mash,
(the monster mash) And its a graveyard smash,
(its now the mash) It's caught on in a flash,
(its now the mash) Its now the monster mash.
(wa-oo) Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band,
(wa-oo) And my monster mash is the hit of the land,
(wa, wa-oo) For you the living, this mash was meant too,
(wa-oo) When you get to my door, tell them Borris sent you.
(Then you can mash) Then you can monster mash,
(the monster mash) and do my graveyard smash,
(then you can mash) You'll catch on in a flash,
(then you can mash) Then you can monster mash.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Run, Run, Run!
My crazy and true Australian adventure that began here and continued here.
So I was stuck in a desert. My grand trip in Australia, and I was stuck in a desert. I wasn't even sure I was still in Australia, but I had no choice but to start walking and hope that I run into some form of civilization. Unfortunately, since I initially set out to spend the day at the beach, i dressed accordingly. This meant tackling the harsh desert wearing nothing but flip flops and swim trunks. If dehydration didn't kill me, the intense sunburn would at least make my life complete torture.
"OH GOD I'M GONNA DIE OUT HERE!" I yelled out to the expanse before me. It mockingly parroted my cry. What an ass.
I trudged along the sun parched land, the sun's heat waves bending my path ahead. All I could think of was how long I'd been walking, and how much I would give to have a gulp of water. I could see for miles all around me, which meant I was no closer to help than I was a few hours earlier. I wanted to collapse and take a breather, but the ground was baked, so laying down would only mean asking whatever scavenged in this hellhole to have me well done. I was close to giving up hope, when i saw a dark figure approach from a distance. I was shocked.
"Hey! HEEEEY!" I yelled as loud as I could, running as fast as possible to the approaching figure. "HELP! I'VE BEEN LOST FOR HOURS!"
The figure was silent as it came near, and all the while, it looked like it was moving up and down. I continued to yell, but it died down as soon as I realized who was approaching. A kangaroo!
"Are you kidding me?!" I yelled in frustration. "A kangaroo?" Well, at least I knew I was still in Australia.
"Not just any kangaroo, mate," the kangaroo said.
"You can talk," I said. I finally realized the lack of water had finally destroyed my sanity.
"Not just talk, mate. I can sing too!" And then the kangaroo broke into a rendition of "Rapper's Delight," which I could barely call singing, but who was I to argue with a hallucination? I stood there as he continued to rap, though I could tell he was trying way to hard to look "cool." I decided to end my hallucination by throwing a rock at it. I soon realized it wasn't a hallucination. But in retrospect, i couldn't think of a better way to have kangaroo in Australia. With renewed energy, I could take on the desert. But I still had no idea where to go next.
So I was stuck in a desert. My grand trip in Australia, and I was stuck in a desert. I wasn't even sure I was still in Australia, but I had no choice but to start walking and hope that I run into some form of civilization. Unfortunately, since I initially set out to spend the day at the beach, i dressed accordingly. This meant tackling the harsh desert wearing nothing but flip flops and swim trunks. If dehydration didn't kill me, the intense sunburn would at least make my life complete torture.
"OH GOD I'M GONNA DIE OUT HERE!" I yelled out to the expanse before me. It mockingly parroted my cry. What an ass.
I trudged along the sun parched land, the sun's heat waves bending my path ahead. All I could think of was how long I'd been walking, and how much I would give to have a gulp of water. I could see for miles all around me, which meant I was no closer to help than I was a few hours earlier. I wanted to collapse and take a breather, but the ground was baked, so laying down would only mean asking whatever scavenged in this hellhole to have me well done. I was close to giving up hope, when i saw a dark figure approach from a distance. I was shocked.
"Hey! HEEEEY!" I yelled as loud as I could, running as fast as possible to the approaching figure. "HELP! I'VE BEEN LOST FOR HOURS!"
The figure was silent as it came near, and all the while, it looked like it was moving up and down. I continued to yell, but it died down as soon as I realized who was approaching. A kangaroo!
"Are you kidding me?!" I yelled in frustration. "A kangaroo?" Well, at least I knew I was still in Australia.
"Not just any kangaroo, mate," the kangaroo said.
"You can talk," I said. I finally realized the lack of water had finally destroyed my sanity.
"Not just talk, mate. I can sing too!" And then the kangaroo broke into a rendition of "Rapper's Delight," which I could barely call singing, but who was I to argue with a hallucination? I stood there as he continued to rap, though I could tell he was trying way to hard to look "cool." I decided to end my hallucination by throwing a rock at it. I soon realized it wasn't a hallucination. But in retrospect, i couldn't think of a better way to have kangaroo in Australia. With renewed energy, I could take on the desert. But I still had no idea where to go next.
Friday, July 24, 2009
A letter to my hero, Will Smith
Dear Mr Smith,
Sorry for being so formal, but I've never written a fan letter to a celebrity before, and I know it sounds weird, but I'm actually kind of nervous! You're such a great actor and singer, and have been a real role model to me for a long time. I grew up watching you on TV and have since seen every single one of your movies, from Men in Black to Hancock. And it's because of you that I feel I have the power to do anything that I want with my life.
Not to bore you with a story or anything, but I used to get into trouble a lot. I was a serious problem child, and my mom didn't know what to do with me. My dad died when I was five, so I guess that means I didn't really have a solid male role model or anyone to whip me into shape. I bet he would have known what to do with me. Instead, I was running around school beating up kids, vandalizing street signs, shoplifting, the works. I thought I was on top of the world.
Then one day, when I was about thirteen, I was hanging out with my friends, just talking, hollering at girls that walked past, and (I'm ashamed to say) smoking weed. When a couple of guys, who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood; I got in one little fight and my mom got scared. She said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and, when it came near, the license plate said "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say the discount was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it." Yo holmes, to Bel-Air!
I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to cabbie "Yo holmes, smell you later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.
And if it wasn't for you, I would probably still be in West Philadelphia, where I was born and raised.
Thank you so much.
Sincerely,
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
i wasn't planning on sleeping tonight
here are some scaaaaaary stories:
The clownsitter calls the parents who were out of the house eating dinner and asks:
'Is it okay if I can cover up the kids? I don't like children...'
'What kids?' the confused owner of the clown statue asks.
'The kids in your bathroom. The children!'
'Get the clown statue out of the house right now!'
'Why, what's wrong?'
'We don't have kids...'
A babysitter calls a wedding reception and asks a nine year old asian girl if she can cover up the clown because he is staring at her rearview mirror.
The girl at the wedding answers "There is no such thing as a clown."
The babysitter then looks in the mirror and she is a skeleton.. and a clown.
Timmy Turner was walking down a street. He noticed that one of the houses had a red door. He knocked on that red door but nobody answered.
A few months later it was his birthday and when he opened his present it wasn't a PS3 or a new bike.
It was a sex offender.
The clownsitter calls the parents who were out of the house eating dinner and asks:
'Is it okay if I can cover up the kids? I don't like children...'
'What kids?' the confused owner of the clown statue asks.
'The kids in your bathroom. The children!'
'Get the clown statue out of the house right now!'
'Why, what's wrong?'
'We don't have kids...'
A babysitter calls a wedding reception and asks a nine year old asian girl if she can cover up the clown because he is staring at her rearview mirror.
The girl at the wedding answers "There is no such thing as a clown."
The babysitter then looks in the mirror and she is a skeleton.. and a clown.
Timmy Turner was walking down a street. He noticed that one of the houses had a red door. He knocked on that red door but nobody answered.
A few months later it was his birthday and when he opened his present it wasn't a PS3 or a new bike.
It was a sex offender.
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